Tekken 6

A version of this review originally appeared in The Murray State News.


Sometimes, you just want to beat the ever-loving hell out of something. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I really don’t condone violence. I feel that there is a non-violent resolution available in any situation if one is smart and/or charismatic enough. But, sometimes, you just want to punch something in its stupid face. That’s where fighting games shine for me. Oh, and lucky for me, one of my personal absolute favorite fighting game franchises just released a new title. Oh yeah, “Tekken 6.”

 
Now, plot-wise, I’m a little bit behind. The last Tekken (which translates to iron fist) game I actually played was “Tekken Tag Tournament.” It was a complete shock to me to see that Jin Mishima was now a bad guy and the leader of the Mishima Zaibatsu. Also he declared war on the ENTIRE PLANET. Oh, and just for shits and giggles he reinstated the King of the Iron Fist tournament, wagering his position as leader of the Mishima Zaibatsu, as is customary. So, around 40 playable characters enter the tournament, beating the hell out of each other at literally every possible opportunity.

 
So, “Tekken 6” is an arcade fighting game, like the other Tekken games, right? Well, technically, yes. However, the main “story mode” type mode of gameplay is called “Scenario Campaign” mode. No worries, that just means there are unique rules in place for matches, like campaign mode in “Soul Caliber II,” right?

 
No. Very no.

 
For some reason, the developers at Namco decided that for their next arcade fighting game, they wanted to get rid of all that pesky fighting. Also the arcade-type gameplay. Enter “Scenario Campaign” mode, which is basically an action/adventure RPG. As in, free-roaming maps in basically one direction and killing enemies for money and loot. 

 
Oh, and you don’t control the camera, ever. So, it’s impossible to see bad guys coming up behind you. Oh, and you automatically lock onto enemies, but don’t automatically face them or anything pesky like that, so your attacks wind up hitting empty air about 70% of the time. Oh, and you pick up weapons like miniguns or flamethrowers and completely blow away bad guys who (idiots) brought their fists to a flamethrower fight. And there’s the whole five to 10 solid minutes of cutscene between levels, after the 20 minute cutscene before you ever even touch the buttons at the beginning. I’m sorry, is my desire to play the game cutting into your anime? How rude of me.

 
Scenario Campaign mode is infuriating. The Tekken franchise has some of the best fighting mechanics in the world. Real life flesh and blood martial arts badasses praise the game for accurately recreating actual martial arts. The buttons map to body parts instead of attack strength, making for incredibly intuitive gameplay that’s easy to pick up. This mode completely opts out of what makes Tekken great.

 
The game, thankfully, still contains those things. You can play classic arcade mode, versus mode, team battle, time attack, survival mode and something called “Ghost Mode,” with unique, named versions of the fighters. These modes are the only thing I spent any great amount of time playing, because, frankly, they’re why I paid for a Tekken game to begin with.

 
Unfortunately, these modes are largely thankless. A staple of the fighting game genre is the cinematic ending, a “what if fighter X won?” In most games, you unlock these by completing arcade mode with a particular fighter. However, the only way that I have found to unlock them is by playing baby arcade mode in Scenario Campaign, consisting of about half as many fights, and you can only use characters you’ve unlocked in the plot. Most of the achievements for the game are unlocked in either Scenario Campaign or online play.

 
Online play, at the time of writing, is a joke. The Interwebs are abuzz with complaints. There is server lag, completely unforgivable in a game where fractions of seconds can make a difference between victory and defeat. There isn’t much to do online, besides play the same things as offline mode. You can customize your characters with costume pieces and items unlocked in Scenario Campaign mode, or purchased with points won in all modes, but the connection issues are such that the fun is sucked right out of it. 

 
The developers have promised that in a future patch, players will be able to play Scenario Campaign mode with friends. First of all, who would want to? Second, any time a development team promises something “in a future patch” before the game is released, it means exactly one thing: “We didn’t have time to finish the game.”

 
Another thing to note: “Tekken 5’s” boss Jinpachi Mishima is widely considered to be one of the hardest, most unfair video game bosses in history. I think that “Tekken 6’s” boss, Azazel is up there. He manages to block almost every attack made against him, even when he is in the middle of an attack animation. He has an attack that I’ve found to be unstoppable unless you can punch him during the animation, which doesn’t always work because he sometimes still blocks the attack. The only time he’s really vulnerable is when he’s laying on his back, if you’ve managed to knock him down. Unfortunately, if you try to attack him then, he teleports to the opposite side of the screen, reappearing in the middle of an attack. He also has a grab that he can use from the opposite side of the screen. More than once I’ve been reduced to swearing incoherently, finally opting to just turn off my Xbox.

 
“Tekken 6” should be awesome. It manages to almost destroy my faith in the Tekken series, but the core gameplay is still awesome enough to keep me playing. I mean, where else can a boxing kangaroo face off against a small robotic girl with chainsaws in her arms?

 
The ESRB rated “Tekken 6” M for mature for alcohol reference, crude humor, mild language, suggestive themes, and violence. It is available for the PlayStation 3 and the Xbox 360 with a planned Nov 24 release for a PlayStation Portable port.

Where the Wild Things Are

A version of this review first appeared in The Murray State News.


Lately, it seems that Hollywood is mining my childhood for ideas. Between two Transformers movies, summer’s “G.I. Joe” debacle and the plethora of comic book movies, I had begun to imagine that my childhood was fairly tapped out. Then I started seeing trailers for “Where the Wild Things Are.” The trick, it seems, was going back further through my childhood.

“Where the Wild Things Are” is based on Maurice Sendak’s book of the same name. The book is an award-winning children’s classic that critics praise for it’s incredible depth, amazing considering the book consists of perhaps 10 sentences total.

Director Spike Jonze is a man of many talents, credited as helping to “write” T.V.’s “Jackass,” as well as directing films such as “Adaptation” and acting in “Three Kings.” However, nothing in that pedigree would suggest that Jonze is uniquely qualified to direct a children’s movie.

That could be because this movie is absolutely not for children.

I’m going to go ahead and repeat that: “Where the Wild Things Are” is not for kids.

That isn’t to say that the film is bad. In fact, it isn’t vastly different from the source material. Sendak himself said in the book “The Art of Maurice Sendak” that the book is about how children cope with their feelings.

It is that aspect that the film manages to really nail. The whole film is an almost frighteningly analytical look into the head of the main character, Max, a young boy who is struggling to cope with the fact that life, his in particular it seems, really sucks.

From the father who left him to the sister who is outgrowing him to the mother that cares but is too busy, Max’s family life is, to him, falling apart. Coupled with an astonishingly perceptive and imaginative mind, Max is left feeling isolated and freaked out, and he responds by raging against the world.

All of this is captured amazingly well. Max Records, the boy who plays Max, is excellent. He brings a range of incredibly genuine emotions to the screen. He really seems to have the weight of the world on his mind, but never loses his child-like innocence or sense of wonder. He flips back and forth between child and raging Wild Thing so well it’s almost scary. It is, no exaggeration, worth the price of admission just to watch this kid work.

There is a psychological aspect to the film that is, frankly, difficult to convey. Max has a particularly violent outburst one night and runs away, finding himself in the land of the Wild Things. Through an adorable bit of trickery, he is declared their king (read dad) and has to solve all of their problems. The Wild Things themselves are, whether Max realizes it or not, parts of himself, or elements of his life, making it incredibly telling that they frequently seem to be on the brink of war with each other.

The impact of the film is definitely heightened by the score. Karen O of the band the Yeah Yeah Yeahs provides the music. Every track captures the essence of the scene. She performs the sweet and soothing just as well as the melancholy or the dangerous. Of particular note is the song that plays while Max sails off toward the land of the Wild Things. It is, forgive the cliche, a dark and stormy night. The music provides a sufficiently gloomy sense of impending doom. Below it all, barely audible and perhaps scarcely noticed, Karen O is spelling out the word capsize, over and over. Whether you realize it or not, the idea is in your head, increasing the sensation that, just maybe, this little kid isn’t quite qualified to sail a small boat through a storm.

All of this sounds fine and well, but I know that I’m driving you mad. “Why isn’t this a kid’s movie, damn it? Get to the point!” All right, well, the point is, the movie is just scary.

All of those things that I mentioned as to why this is an excellent movie will, probably, escape the average child. The transition from the “real world” Max inhabits to the fantastic world of the Wild Things is, probably deliberately, left unexplained. It seems likely that Max was imagining the entire thing, but there are definite elements of magical realism at play. However, a five year old doesn’t understand the genre of magical realism. If I ask a five year old what magical realism, their parents call me a pervert and the cops get involved! The kids just see a cool kid run away and now he’s with some monsters I guess.

The Wild Things, while you or I understand them to essentially be harmless, are still big scary monsters to a little kid. Hell, I was scared of them, and I knew they were harmless. I sat through the entire sequence in the land of the Wild Things experiencing a prevailing sensation of dread. I knew nothing bad would happen, but I still expected something horrible to occur. 

Excellent acting, a superb score, multiple levels of meaning... I would honestly be hard pressed to find a reason to tell you not to see this movie. I will be shocked if this movie doesn’t earn at least nods from award groups. See it in the theater and you won’t regret it, unless you want to watch it with very small children, and then they’ll probably be okay if you watch it at home and can explain the parts that will blow their tiny minds.

“Where the Wild Things Are” has a runtime of 101 minutes and the MPAA has rated it PG for mild thematic elements, some adventure action and brief language.

Comic Book Day!

Apparently this week I have a boner for Norman Osborn.


First up is Dark Reign: The List: Hulk. This installment in The List was written by Greg Pak with art by Ben Oliver in a sort of photorealistic style. If you haven't been following the Incredible Hulk, Dr. Bruce Banner is unable to transform into his raging alter ego. His alien son from when The Illuminati shot Hulk into space is on earth to kill the Hulk, but he's protecting Banner until he can transform again and Banner is gunning for Osborn with science (read: magic). Osborn assigns Victoria Hand, his strangely sexy second in command/personal assistant, to neutralize Banner. She then launches a fairly ingenious bit of scheming.


If you've been paying any attention whatsoever to Dark Reign this year, I highly recommend picking up The List books. They help to tie together and wrap up several ongoing storylines from throughout the year, and this particular issue is no exception. It actually read better than a couple of the other List books-- I'm looking at you, X-Men and New Warriors.


Next up, Dark Avengers #10. It's a slower issue, as Dark Avengers is wont to do, but it's still good. It's strangely fascinating to watch a bunch of psychopaths sit around eating breakfast. Venom is kinda a bitch, Bullseye is becoming a decent team player, everyone teases Wolverine's son Daken, presumably for his terrible haircut... good times are had by all. Also, Ms. Marvel's "To-Do List" is touched on. Spoiler warnings,  she's gonna bone Bullseye.


Oh, also there are dinosaurs, weirdness, and Sentry effing explodes.


Last, Thunderbolts #137. Andy Diggle, who until quite recently was writing T-bolts, has moved on to Daredevil. Taking his place is Rick Remender, and #137 is Remender's first issue. Osborn has the T-bolts kidnap Iron Fist, programs him to be a killbot, and tries to use him to capture Luke Cage for the same process. The actual T-bolts themselves are kind of secondary to that plot, and a few things from Diggle's last issue aren't really touched on. For instance, I was pretty sure that Scourge had decided to go back to being Nuke. Also, I swear Osborn had said something about tracking down Yelena Belova for real and making her lead the team, but somehow Ghost got the job.


In the sequences where the T-bolts actually shined, Remender did a decent job. It was a little irritating that Ant-Man is suddenly a frat boy for some reason. Also, the recap of an episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 was... bizarrely out of place. However, I think that Remender has a decent enough grasp of the characters, and I look forward to seeing where he takes the book.

Video Game Review

This week I reviewed Bethesda Softworks' new game "Wet." I didn't have much more to say than made it into the paper, so I'll just link the review at The News's Web site.

Review of Bethesda Softworks' "Wet."

"Wet's" official Web site

Comic Book Day

It's Wednesday, which all good nerds know as new comic book day. It was a light week for me.

First up, Deadpool #900. This 104 page special ran at $4.99. It featured seven original short stories from a plethora of writers and artists, as well as a reprint of an old issue of Deadpool Team-Up and a cover gallery. All in all, well worth the money. The stories featured numerous takes on Wade Wilson, from the outlandishly silly to the probing psychological vignette. It's fair to call this a must-have for all DP fans.

I also picked up Incredible Hercules #136. Herc is one of my favorite ongoings currently. Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente are geniuses who excel at combining the sensibilities of a post-modern deconstruction of the super hero with the elements of mythology. This issue was the end of an arc that saw Herc accidentally putting the entire cosmos in jeopardy in the name of getting some dark elf loving, all while posing as the Mighty Thor. It featured the long-awaited throw down between Thor, pretending to be Herc, and Herc, pretending to be Thor. Definitely worth the $2.99 price of admission.

Obligatory "This is What I'm About" Post

Multiverse Media, the newest byproduct of my brain's everyday operations, will probably mostly consist of reviews of things. You see, I get paid to review things, so I generally labor under the impression that people care what I have to say. However, due to space limitations in a college newspaper, I frequently have more to say than I can write.


Enter Multiverse Media, a theoretically limitless space that I can use to opine to my heart's content. I'll probably post expanded versions of my reviews here. I haven't quite worked out the details with the paper as to when I can actually post my reviews, because they theoretically own the words once I turn them in. However, I'll also review things that I'm not getting paid to review, for instance comic books.


Mostly, this blog is like the B-side to my ramblings. Enjoy!